Monday, December 13, 2010
Open Up Your Eyes
Opening up your eyes to the world can do amazing things. It can completely change the way you think and feel about people, and shape you as a person forever. Right now, I am sitting in an airport in Germany waiting to head back to Madrid. I am coming back from visiting a friend. Staying with her and her family made me feel like I was at home. They were so much fun and were so nice, and they took such good care of me.
I remember when I was little going to stores like target or to the mall with my Mom or Grandma. Often as we shopped, we would pass by other people who were speaking in a different language. Whether that language be Spanish or Arabic, German or Chinese, we always felt strange as we passed, thinking that these people were speaking in their language for one of two reasons:
a. a. They were talking about us
Or
b. b. They did not want us to know what they were saying
Sitting here now I can’t help but think about how wrong we were.
Being in another country that is not your own is like being in a different world. Nothing is familiar to you, nothing is your own. Speaking your own language, however, is a way to take a part of your country and a part of yourself with you, no matter where you go.
Growing up in the United States, there have been people and influences that have shaped and formed not only my cultural habits, but also have formed the way I think about life and the way I feel about or in certain situations. Traveling around, I get to see not only how different I am from other people and cultures, but also how I am the same, and I get to celebrate these things through the many friendships and memories that I make along the way. Opening my eyes to this experience has made me realize this, and has made me realize how amazing and special all people really are :).
Friday, December 3, 2010
The Chronicle of Crick
Today I wrote a letter to a very special person in my life. A role model. I wrote to him to make sure he knew how much I appreciated him in my life..for the second time. I wrote him for a second time because the first time I tried to write him, I failed. Weird, right? Well I guess that’s just how I am. It’s hard for me to transfer what I think and feel about people into words. I am bad at communicating, and expressing what I feel, and it takes a special situation for me to express my emotions. It’s a huge fault in my life, and I really don’t understand it. It’s kind of funny, though, because I don’t really feel any certain way about it. In fact, I’m pretty content/indifferent to it, because it’s the way that I have been my whole life.
When I look at the people who surround me, however, I see the grand difference between me and them. I am going to use code names so that people don’t catch on! (Lol even though at this point I am the only one who knows about this blog anyways, but whatever!) My friend Cricklestone, for example, is amazing at listening and responding..no matter what the situation, cost, etc. This is something Cricklestone has been gifted with. Crick is so quick to drop things that she is doing and pay attention..and on top of that can respond sincerely without blinking. For me, however, being such a person can be a little bit difficult. Now, I’m not saying that I am incapable of being sensitive or a good friend, but what I am saying is that sometimes it is hard for be to make everything mesh when the time comes for me to talk to a friend that is going through something. Sometimes, I can get one element or the other, but it is hard for me to master them all in certain situations. The good news? I think I am kind of starting to figure myself out. ..
Yesterday, the same friend who is always there for me, Crick, came to me stressed as ever. Crick vented to me about an organization that she was involved in, and let me know how crazy it was driving her that she had to do so much for it, and not anyone to help. On top of that, Crick has a trip to prepare for, a difficult friendship to nurture, school work, and pressure to stay in the honors program.. plus probably a million other things that she did not share with me. At the time, I quickly advised Crick telling her how much she had going for her on in spite of if she were able to maintain her honors program status or not. Though I meant every word, looking back on it now I realize that I probably should have handled the situation differently. The honors program is something that is important to Crick and to her family. She has always been a good student and always will be. The problem? Though I advised Crick and let her know everything she has going for her, I failed to tell her how much I believe in her. Crick has so much going on. She is busy beyond imagination, juggles millions of whole hearted friendships, manages to have time for her family, friends, clubs, and school work. Last year, she went through so many hard things, and in spite of everything, she still came out on top. What I failed to do that day when she came to me with all of these things weighing on her mind, was show her completely how I see her as a person. Through my eyes, Crick has the potential, strength, determination, and pride enough to take on the world. I think if she had to be superwoman, the empress of the world, a top secret agent, and a housewife, she could do it all at the same time and still be able to be as amazing of a friend as she is today. I know right now that that is hard for Crick to see at the moment, but I know that her organization skills, ability to handle relationships on such a mature and responsible level, and her dedication to her school work and studies will surface in the moment she least expects it, cause that is just the kind of person she is. With all of that being said I know that, as I told Crick yesterday, everything with turn out fine for her..honors program or not. Nevertheless, it is important for me that she knows that I believe in her, not only because of the amazing person that she is, but also because I have seen her do it before. Because I know, that in spite of everything, the person she is striving to be takes time to develop. That without challenges, we do not grow. Hang in there Crick..everything you are working for is in reach...ya just gotta keep reachin! :).
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
hahaha little brothers sometimes say jusstt the right thing to make your day!
- Steven Bresnahan you look kinda pretty melissa! =)
Melissa Bresnahan lol i know, and i knew you were going to say that too, but its okay, at least you know i wouldnt trade you for a camel or something
about a minute ago ·
Melissa Bresnahan lol ew donkeys smell , no way! and i cant play video games with camels!
27 seconds ago ·
My Mom's Quote
"It's times like this that you could NEVER have to many pictures of your loved ones! It's times like this when you WISH you had MORE pictures of you with them! You wouldn't care what you were wearing, how messy your hair was or about your size...you would just CHERISH the memory & be HAPPY you caught it on film!"
Brand New Day
The ways people live their lives are so different.
Some people take life too seriously, thinking that things have to go in a certain way, but if they don't, they are not happy.
Other people close their eyes to what surrounds them because they enjoy their lives the way they are, eyes closed, mouths shut.
Still there are others who prefer to live with their eyes open, ignoring both the problems and the beauties that surround them.
The funny thing is is that everyone falls into one of these categories at some point in our lives.
We are human.
Things like this happen.
My question is not where we draw the line, but where we erase it.
What is so different between all of us to begin with?
It’s time to let loose, to open our eyes, and to face the things that the world has to offer us... the good and the bad.
Because it’s a brand new day, and some, have already begun it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhUfVcLLvjo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhUfVcLLvjo
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Trying to turn losing into loving and morphing into meaning
Weird. Weird how some things change. Weird how some things change and are never the same again. Strange. I don’t know how to understand. Loss. Something that is a part of life. Loss. Of things we can never get back. Memories. All that is left to remain. So often in life, we lose. We draw what seems to be the short straw. We are abandoned. Left behind to face whatever it means that life is without someone or something we love. Loss is never easy. No matter what the case, no matter what the cause.
Rhythm. Rhythm is what brings us comfort. Love. Love is what brings us strength. It is in these times we are able to look around and find out who matters the most..who we can count on when we are the ones who experience loss. The people who matter most are those you yearn for. Those you can talk to, those you can rely on. These people are those who let you need them. They are there for you as you need them, when you need them, and they pay close attention to the things that you want and that you need. They find the things that are on your heart, discover why, and care for those things so that you are not left to stand alone.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Affecting Everything
Social class is something that defines our society by influencing the experiences and opportunities available to members within each class. However, one can observe that the separation of each class creates problems within our society. The poor, for example, have limited access to resources and opportunities that can enable them to improve their financial standings. In other words, the rich continue to be rich and the poor continue to be poor not only due to differences in money, but also due to differences in social capital. This difference in status creates segregation between social classes that not only prohibits members in each class from interacting with one another, but also limits access to important resources such as employment, health care, and education. In other words, social status reinforces itself, making it more difficult to alleviate poverty and control financial strain because opportunities are so restricted. In addition, poverty can be triggered by external factors such as mental illness, natural disasters, or other things that are beyond control.
As we have been able to observe this past summer, poverty in Cleveland can be defined, experienced, and caused in many ways. Within each of our placements, we have been exposed to unique groups, some that were characterized by defining factors, and others that explored the overall scope of poverty. I feel that this exposure has defined my personal outlook on poverty. I have learned about the structures that influence poverty from higher levels like government, and about the role they play in decreasing financial burdens within the city. I have also learned about smaller organizations and the role they play in providing services to specific groups of people. Learning about these different groups; refugees, red cross victims, and of course those who struggle with mental health, has enabled me to expand my understanding of poverty and of the mentality of the poor. It has also clarified for me the faces of poverty that are so often left unclear due to segregation within society. I believe that this separation of social class is the key that leads people to misunderstand the reality of what it means to be poor. Often, people question why the poor do not take advantage of opportunities that are available to them, wondering why some would prefer to beg for money as opposed to taking a low wage job at a fast food chain. Though I cannot speak directly for the poor, I believe that such answers can be found by taking a moment to try and understand what it is like to live in poverty.
Though it is important to consider the differences that define social classes, it is also important to consider the factors that unify members of each class, especially when trying to understand life through the perspective of poverty. Every life, for example, is full of experiences: of struggles and celebrations, lessons and realizations, happiness and distress. Every person experiences emotions, and every emotion is reflected in a unique way through different personalities. Everyone has something to offer. As humans, we come to understand this through the strengths and weaknesses that we possess. One of my favorite examples of this concept comes from a conversation that I had with a client this past summer, when we talked for hours not only about the problems that he was dealing with, but also about his passions and aspirations. He, who had lived through more hardships and struggles than one would expect for someone who is just 21, told me about his interest in psychology. Obviously, this news was exciting to me, and it was only natural for me to be inquisitive with him. I asked, I listened, and I learned so much in that conversation to the point where I often think back to it when I struggle with solving certain problems. He told me about techniques that he would use as a psychologist and taught me how it is important to ask people questions that lead them to make decisions on their own instead of pushing advice on them or working to convince them to work for your own hopes and goals. He made me realize how important the thoughts and aspirations of others truly are, and completely changed the way I understand human thought, all in one conversation. He is so intelligent, and has been told otherwise on more than one occasion during his lifetime. He struggles with the idea of seeking an education, unsure if he is ready to take that step.
The problem with poverty is that people do not see that side of the equation. Instead, they focus on the fact that this young man does not have work. They ask why he is not filling out his application for McDonalds, and they wonder why he would prefer living in transitional housing instead of looking for work and saving up for a place of his own. The problem is that people do not listen when he talks about how he wants his life to change. Yet, everything transforms when you know him. Everything transforms when you know his story and discover the potential he possesses, when you realize that poverty is not about who is better or who is worse, but about who did have a chance and who did not. Poverty happens to people who are human, to people who are just like you and me. People with lives, families, hopes, and aspirations. Poverty happens to people we can understand, because the people who experience it are more like us than most take the time to realize. I often wonder what the world would be like if everyone tried to befriend someone living in poverty. Would people realize that we are confined and defined by what we are able to afford? Would they realize how silly that is? Or how much it does not make sense? What would change? For me, taking time to get to know the poor changed everything. I began to look around, to notice people in a way that I never had before, to make connections, and most importantly, to learn from people who have gained copious amounts of wisdom from their experiences. For once, I worked with the poor, and not for them. I let them teach me, and tried to offer them something in return.
One moment that made me feel as if I truly made a difference was another conversation I had with a client who was very distressed. This person was telling me about the many hardships that they had been through, emphasizing how alone they had felt in the process. When I told him that I was sorry, he got frustrated with me and told me that I should never apologize to someone for what they have been through, because I have not been through it myself. He told me that I could never understand; that it was impossible. In that moment, I looked at him seriously and asked him if he understood what it meant to empathize. He said no, so I explained to him what empathy was, and how it was possible after all to hurt for someone else. I told him that even though I have not had to struggle with many of the things that he has throughout his life, I still understood what it was like to hurt, what it is like to be sad, and what it is like to be afraid. I reminded him that even though we are different, we experience the same emotions. I reminded him that we are connected in that way, and he understood. I hope that he remembers that moment as much as I do. I hope it established for him what it reinforced for me: the idea that connecting with others is much easier than people make it out to be. That it is, indeed, possible to understand what someone else is going through, and to support them when they need it the most.
In turn, the support that is offered in such moments and in other defining moments throughout our lives plays a crucial role in influencing the decisions we make, the chances we take, and the way we understand and approach our lives. You develop a career, for instance, first by having parents and teachers in grade school that lead you to high school, second by having teachers or other role models in high school that guide you to college, and finally, by having influences in college that help you discover your career. No one ever accomplishes such things without some form of mentor or guide who influences the development of individuals in regard to mentality, or directly provides them with opportunities that enable them to further their personal aspirations. In fact, having support us gives us confidence in ourselves and hope for our futures, no matter how old, young, rich, or poor we may be. Nevertheless, the more money you make, the more guidance and support you are likely to receive, and for me, this is where I see a lot of opportunity for change.
When people have money, they also have the chance to meet other people who can help them reach their goals due to their academic environments. When people do not have money, the chance of reaching their goals becomes slimmer, as their environments do not include as many influences and opportunities. Providing networks to better this situation, however, could change the way that the poor live their lives and further develop the chances that they have. Therefore, just as I resolved in my research paper this past summer, a mentoring program could connect them with people who have the ability to access certain resources, making up for some of the social capital they lack. Though this may seem as only a small provision, I believe that will change their lives drastically, enabling them not only to better manage their illnesses, but also to seek and take advantage of new opportunities, such as education or employment. In addition, I feel that a program such as this will enable people to better understand poverty by providing them with the chance to get to know the poor on a personal level that will not only enable them to realize the solidarity that exists between the rich and the poor, but will also completely change the way they think and feel about poverty, just my experience did for me.
Working at ___ this summer has changed me and the way I think about life in numerous ways. In fact, I would venture to say that the experience has taught me about living life the way it is meant to be lived. When I think about the relationships and friendships that I made this past summer, I am reminded of a prayer I once learned during a seminar about love. The prayer is called “Fall In Love” by Fr. Pedro Arrupe, and it describes exactly the way that I felt during my internship this summer. This prayer encourages you to seek “what you are in love with, what seizes your imagination” because it “will affect everything” from “what breaks your heart” to “what amazes you with joy and gratitude” (Arrupe). Every day when I went to work this summer, I felt like I was where I was supposed to be. Every little interaction, every realization, every experience, was so important. I gained a new perspective on life and realized that it is not about the life that you live, but about the way that you live it. I smile to myself when I think about how close I feel to the people at ___. I never realized how meaningful a simple greeting from a client could be, or how much I could be affected by the advice or encouragement of a co-worker. I feel that the experience was unique and special that I will never forget, and will hopefully be able to continue experiencing for years to come.
Some Random Quotes
"To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless."
-G. K. Chesterton
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Sing
I sing all the time. I sing when I'm bored, I Sing when I'm occupied, when I'm walking down the street, in the shower, in my room by myself, out with my friends randomly, and once as a sociology experiment to see how people would react to me. I sing because even though I'm not great at it it makes my heart beat, it reminds me of all the good things I have in the most stressful of times, even if I don't realize it at the time. I sing because its part of who I am. I might not be the most thoughtful person in the world, and I get disappointed when I realize that I am not. I might not be the most friendly all the time, and I get disappointed when I realize that I could be better. I might not be so many things, but to sing and be worry free, means that it does not matter that I am not. To sing means I just get to be me, and that I get to be happy with whatever that means.To sing means that I get to accept me for me, imperfections and all!
Friday, October 15, 2010
The guiding question
Something I think we need to ask ourselves when making decisions about our future is the kind of life we are in love with.
Kriptonite
Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you have to be superman.
Sometimes it’s better to be Lois Lane.
Don’t ever let anyone tell you aren’t good enough.
Even in your flaws you are worth all of the love you offer.
Multiply your heart times a million
And receive everything, everything you deserve.
You are so much more than the names others call you
More than a face, more than a color
You are more than the words that hurt you,
and have power over the words that speak to your heart
You are so much more than some small detail in your life
And you are perfect just the way you are.
Embrace you for who you are, and follow the path that gets you
Where you are meant to be
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